


Pancakes

by BlitheBells



Category: Black Widow (Comics), Captain America (Comics), Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: BuckyNat Mini-Bang, F/M, Rebuilding Relationship, comics continuation, comics fix-it, what happens after the current BW run
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-10-10 12:49:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10438086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlitheBells/pseuds/BlitheBells
Summary: After Natasha drops Bucky off after the events on the moon (BW issue 10 by Waid...), robots attack New York and they struggle to reconnect over the rubble of their relationship.Submission for BuckyNat Mini Bang 2017 in collaboration with erisandbtheapple.tumblr.com





	1. Chapter 1

When Bucky woke up a few days after the incident on the moon, he woke up to the smell of chocolate chip pancakes coming from the kitchen and the sounds of someone shuffling around, setting plates on the table, scraping a fork across a bowl, and he laid there for a second, stunned and confused.

He slowly pulled himself out of bed and smoothed his hair back with his hands and walked towards the kitchen, confused and hopeful.

It was as though he’d seen a ghost, standing there in the orange light of the sunrise in the window-Natasha Romanoff in all her glory. Red hair pulled back and socks on the wood floor, sunlight lighting up the side of her face he could see, and everything so perfect that he sucked in a breath sharply, feeling distinctly as though he was living his life from a year ago, when he and Nat were together, and nothing was complicated or scary and she didn’t look at him with blank eyes.

Natasha heard him enter and she turned around to face him, a pan with bubbling pancakes behind her and a mess on the counter before her.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” she said dryly. “We need to talk.”

After the moon, when Natasha had acknowledged memory of him and had kissed him, she’d dropped him off on Earth and left him there and he’d exploded with excitement. He had ran and jumped and laughed, racing around his apartment like a kid, pressing 1 to speed dial Steve and explain the whole thing through tears. He’d spent all night listening to gushy romance music and staring at the ceiling, wondering what would happen next, how she would find him again. He didn’t know what he had expected, but it hadn’t been this.

“Yeah,” he said after a moment and he hesitantly stepped across the doorway and into the kitchen, almost shyly. “I’d love to talk.”

They pulled chairs over to the counter and sat down, each starting to pull apart sections of chocolate chip pancakes. Bucky didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know where to start.

“Do you like pancakes?” Natasha finally asked after a minute. She was sitting across from him and he’d noticed how her eyes had rarely left his face. He let her stare, wishing he could find a way to tell her he didn’t mind. He knew how it felt, to barely remember someone, to want to look at their face all day, to try and hunt out the lines in their features where you knew you’d been before, like a map of a place you’d once loved years and years ago. He wanted to tell her it was alright to stare.

“I do,” he said back. “Especially yours.”

“Did I make you pancakes often?” She asked.

Her tone was sincere now, almost vulnerable.

“I had to beg you to do it,” Bucky recalled and he smiled at her. His smile was either faint, or weak, or shy. Or somewhere in-between, he wasn’t sure.

Natasha didn’t answer for a moment. She appeared to be thinking, her face hard. She pushed her pancakes around in a soup of maple syrup.

“Nat,” Bucky said and he set his fork down. He was leaning over the counter towards her, and he didn’t entirely realize he was doing it. “Tell me everything. What all do you remember? What happened? How do you know?”

Natasha looked up again at him and her eyes bore into his. She was searching him. He let her.

“You can’t keep secrets from me,” was all she said after a minute.

“Please give me more than that, Nat,” Bucky pleaded.

Natasha stood up and Bucky felt panic surge through him. Don’t leave! He wanted to cry.

“Stay, please,” he choked out, before he even realized what he was saying. “Just a day, stay with me.”

“James,” Natasha said in a tone that made him stop.

“Please, Nat,” he begged. “We can just stay in all day and relax. You don’t have to tell me anything right now, I understand, you know I do, just stay.”

Natasha looked down at him and a smile took over her face.

“If anyone saw you right now, they wouldn’t even believe what they were seeing. The Winter Soldier? Beg? I never knew you were such a hopeless romantic, Barnes.”

“They would believe,” Bucky replied. He was talking too fast for his common sense to keep up. “Anyone would believe it because everyone knows how much I love you.”

Natasha’s smile faltered and she stared, her control shaken by his shameless honesty.

“I’ll be back later,” she said and she turned her face away. The sunlight lit up her hair until it glowed. “We’ll talk more then.”

Bucky looked down.

“Whenever you’re ready,” he said.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, giant robots attacked New York, which wasn’t as shocking to everyone as it maybe should have been. Natasha was fighting, and the rest of the Avengers, and Bucky joined them, not entirely certain what was going on, but sure that he could be of some help. People were being evacuated by the bus-load and Bucky found Steve in the middle of tearing his shield out of the chest of a giant mess of sparking wires.

“What’s going on??” He asked, bewildered, and dodged a bullet that was aimed at his face.

“Doctor Doom,” Steve said and Bucky could practically hear him roll his eyes. “Another one of his stupid stunts.”

"Okay, cool,” Bucky replied and pulled two guns out of his belt. “Nothing we can’t handle.”

In the fray, Bucky found Natasha. He almost wanted to stand back and watch for a minute, just admire her as she went. She was stunning. She was better than him, he thought. But he didn’t admire for long, just threw himself in it to help her, reloading his guns and shooting into the sky where giant robot heads were. Natasha saw him coming. She was too aware of everything not to, and they began to fight together, watching each other's backs. It took a minute or so, for them to fall into the rhythm they had known so well in the past, where fighting together like this had felt so natural, like the other was only an extension of the one.

But they did find it again, the rhythm, and it felt so good. Bucky thought his heart might burst out of his chest with joy. The word joy didn’t even capture it. It was like he was reconnecting with her, like they were taking more baby steps towards what they had once been, rebuilding it all from the ground. His eyes stung momentarily with tears and he forced himself to stop thinking about it, stop reveling in it, because if he cried in the middle of a battle, he’d probably get shot. He did take the time, though, to wonder if she felt it. This connection.

 

The battle went on for what seemed like forever and didn’t end until the sun was gone and everything was dark.

The robots were litter in the streets, but then again, so was everything else. Buildings were leveled. Cars on the street were pancakes. Bucky was exhausted and he thought he might just collapse on the pavement and go to sleep there. He was also starving. He didn’t know what he wanted more, to sleep for a hundred years or to eat a whole feast.

But Natasha had stayed with him through the whole fight. They looked out for each other through the whole thing, occasionally exchanging words, sometimes banter, and it always made Bucky’s heart leap right out of his chest. Every once in awhile, their bodies would brush together. The back of her shoulder on his when they stood back to back. Her hands on his arms, pulling him away from a blast of something. The time they were both hit and collapsed on top of each other, the heat of her skin under her uniform. He realized he craved her closeness. He felt longing so deep it hurt.

Now, in the dark, amid parts of destroyed robots and buildings, she was also swaying on her feet, blood and dirt smudged across her face and in her hair, her eyes looking tired, just like him.

He grinned at her weakly.

“What do you wanna do first?” He asked. “Eat or sleep?”

“Is it possible to do both at once?” She asked and he couldn’t stop his grin from growing wider.

“I was just asking myself the same thing,” he said, leaning up against a smoking pile of metal. She smiled at him, staring, and he let her stare, like he had earlier, even though he was sure he looked awful.

“Anyway,” she said, breaking her stare and backing away. “I’d better go before I collapse.”

“Do you have a ride?” Bucky asked. “Where do you live?”

“Well, it’s a thirty minute drive, given that it’s still standing,” Natasha replied.

“Let me take you back,” he offered.

“You got a car?” She asked.

“I’ve got my pick of cars,” he replied, gesturing to the ones on the street that were less flat than the others.

“And if you collapse on your way back?” Natasha asked.

“I won’t,” he said.

“I can take care of myself, Barnes,” she replied.

“I know,” he said and for a second, their conversation slowed and he was looking at her. He wondered if she could read the adoration in his eyes. He wondered if he cared. “But I love you.”

Natasha stared.

“So?” She said.

“So that’s just what people do for other people when they love them,” he replied, his voice growing weak, becoming almost a breath. That’s what she did to him, she took away his breath. He shrugged one shoulder. “That’s all.”

 

They found a Toyota minivan with the keys still inside, miracle of miracles, and Natasha gave Bucky directions to her apartment. He found a sort of second wind in being there with her as they carefully avoided robot parts and wreckage on the streets, and he wasn’t stupid enough to say that he could have driven her around forever, because he knew he was a good hour away from passing out against the nearest semi-horizontal surface, but he found the strength to take her far enough.

When they arrived, all they found was a heap of rubble. Natasha laughed exhaustedly and threw her head back against the seat of the car.

“Great,” she said. “My iPhone was in there.”

“Stay with me,” Bucky said, turning to look at her.

She hesitated and his heart broke.

“I’ll take the couch,” he said. “You don’t have many other options.”

“Alright,” she relented and he backed the car up and started driving in the opposite direction.

“Sorry about your iPhone,” he said finally.

“It’s fine,” Natasha replied.

When they arrived at Bucky’s apartment, they found yet another heap of rubble. Bucky had really started looking forward to that couch and when he saw it all gone, he almost cursed loudly. He held himself back.

“Well, uh,” he said, out of ideas. “I know a really nice park bench a few blocks down.”

“Do you know any hotels?” Natasha asked dryly.

They drove around for a little while longer, but eventually, neither of them could take it anymore.

“I wonder if Steve’s house is still there,” Bucky muttered, his words slurring together ever so slightly with exhaustion. “And Sam’s. And everybody else’s. Hope they’re okay.”

“Let’s just stay here,” Natasha suggested and Bucky slowed to a stop in the middle of the road, which wasn’t a big deal because it was covered in wreckage and was essentially a ghost town anyway.

“What, here?” He said.

“Yeah,” Natasha said. “Look, the seats recline,” she continued and reclined her seat. “What if we just… Stay here?” She said to him, looking up at his face from where she was laying against the flat seat. Instead of responding, Bucky just took the keys out of the ignition, locked the doors, and reclined his seat back as well.

It wasn’t comfortable, but at that point, he could have fallen asleep against a giant metal spike if he had to. Across from him, Natasha was already half-asleep, her eyes closed and her breath coming out slowly and softly. He watched her a second longer before closing his eyes as well and falling asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Bucky slept for several hours in a deep sleep until the stiffness and awkwardness of the seat began to disturb him. Sunlight was beginning to come through the windows and he threw his arm over his face, trying to block it out and return to the sleep he’d had before.

He laid there like that for a long time, he wasn’t sure how much, only half-asleep, until finally, Natasha began to stir. He watched her wake up, groggy, and after a few seconds of stretching, her eyes met his and he smiled a little at her.

The government had cleaning crews on duty already to pick up the city and Bucky called Steve to find where everyone was and what was next.

They drove past people cleaning and the job seemed so huge. Bucky’s eyes lingered on crushed buildings and rubble in the streets. The broken glass and the sunrise light coming in through the cracks in bricks. Everything was leveled-it was gone. Bucky felt a twinge of sadness for the city. He didn’t live here full time, he just had an apartment ready for whenever he needed somewhere other than his ship as the Man on the Wall in space, but he almost wished he could be back here more. He missed it. Nothing like good old Earth. The more planets he visited, the more he wished he could go home.

“We ought to help the clean up crews,” Bucky mused. Natasha insisted on a turn driving, so he had taken her place in the passenger's seat.

“How?” Natasha asked.

“I don’t know,” Bucky replied, staring out the window. “I just think it’d be nice.”

 

They met up with the Avengers and discussed the attack, and how it wouldn’t be the last one. Bucky, of course, was not then a member of the Avengers, and he really didn’t have much to say, but he tried to contribute good ideas to the conversation as they wrestled with what move to take next, wondering what Doom had even wanted.

While he sat there, an idea came to his head. A volunteer clean-up force, to help during all this. The government crews couldn’t do it all, especially if damage continued on in the same way.

He presented his idea at the end of the meeting, an after thought from someone who usually wouldn’t have even been there, and everyone agreed and Bucky drew up a sign-up sheet and some plans and got to it.

He didn’t know anything about Doom or robots or what was going on, but he figured this way, he could help a little. He could do some good, he could rebuild it. He could help fix it.

He showed everyone his sign-up sheet and mentioned that maybe he’d take it to the evacuated people in New Jersey, and as he as on his way to leave, Natasha took the sheet from his hands and put her name on the first line and handed it back.


	4. Chapter 4

The next week, Bucky had gotten a hold of maybe a 100 people to volunteer in the rubble, and more were joining them every day. They worked long hours, from sun up to sun down, sweeping and hauling and piling. Everyone wore masks and heavy work clothes and went as fast as they could to bring back that corner of the city.

At the end of every day, Bucky caught a ride with one of the volunteers back to his hotel, which was too far away, but also the closest one he could find that wasn’t flattened into the ground. He collapsed into his bed late every night, exhausted, after having washed away what felt like pounds of dirt that had been caked onto his skin and hair during the day.

There was a certain fulfillment and peace found in cleaning up the mess. The Avengers had gone on to find the source of the chaos, and Bucky felt fine left behind to sweep rubble off streets and carry broken bricks into plastic containers. It felt so constructive. The hard work made him feel good.

Natasha was there almost every day as well. Bucky hadn’t asked her about the Avengers. He supposed she had chosen to stay behind, but he didn’t know why. They didn’t talk much. Bucky waited for her to make the first move. He’d wait forever if he had to.

One day, during another long, hot day of work, Bucky looked up and there she was. Dirt and sweat streaked her face and her hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail. She was leaning on a broom, staring at him. He stared back at her for a second, his arms filled with rocks, and his mouth went dry.

Geez, Barnes, get it together, he scolded himself in his head.

“Nat,” he choked out.

“James,” she replied. She looked around herself at the people working and then back at him. “This was nice of you.”

He looked back down at the rocks in his hands and started carrying them to the plastic garbage cans. “I got a lot of time on my hands,” he admitted. “Just seemed like the right thing to do. I want it back to normal.”

“I want it back, too,” Natasha replied and he looked back at her as the brick pieces fell into the container and a cloud of dust mushroomed up. “The city, I mean,” she added and

Bucky felt a wave of emotion.

They worked together in silence for a while, and then Natasha said, “If we keep going at this pace, we could all finish in another week tops.”

“Then the rebuilding begins,” Bucky replied.

“That’s the best part,” Natasha said back and he looked up at her, sweaty hair falling in his eyes, trying to read between the lines of her words. Natasha, always so mysterious. Natasha, always so private. “The buildings go up. The people come back. It’s always different from before, but somehow, I also think it’s always better.”

He stared into her face and she stared into his.

“It is always better,” he agreed.

They returned to their work. A minute later, Bucky spoke again.

“You got any dinner planned after this?” He asked.

“Just a ham sandwich in my hotel room,” she said and he allowed himself to smile at her.

“Well. You don’t happen to remember my pancakes, do you?” He asked and he watched a hint of confusion and then something teasing cross her face as she recognized a challenge. “Because mine could top yours any day.”

“Oh yeah?” She said. “I doubt that.”

“Yeah,” he replied and wiped hair off his face, his smile spreading wider. “I’ll make some for dinner after this and you can see for yourself.” She grinned.

“You’re on,” she said and the sun was high above them, lighting up her eyes.

Oh Nat, he thought as she stared at him, studying the map of his face. I’ve missed you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone I hope you've enjoyed the work!! I had a lot of fun this Mini-Bang and working with the AWESOME erisandbtheapple.tumblr.com was such a treat. Thank you for being so patient with me!!  
> Happy BuckyNat Week!!


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